1 Samuel 15 has to be one of the saddest books in the Bible. However, the lesson taught to me today from those pages is quite profound. God commands His newly appointed King of Israel, Saul to carry out quite an order; to destroy EVERYTHING in a neighboring city. However, Saul and his men decide that they should go ahead and save the best of everything for themselves. Of course God calls Saul out on this through His servant Samuel. Once busted, Saul continues to tell Samuel that his intentions were good; to serve and worship [Samuel's] 'your' God with the plunder. Yeah - this was still in direct disobedience to God's orders so Saul is pretty much removed from ANY relationship with God.
I could not even fathom not being forgiven by God for some of the stupid things I do. I do have to come clean though and let you know that (just like Saul and his men) I occasionally save the best for myself. It is truly a selfish sin; especially since everything I have belongs to God and I simply manage it during my time here on Earth. Another thing that I cannot comprehend is the fact that Saul continues to reference 'your' God, as if he was too good to have the same God as Samuel. To show your beliefs can sometimes be challenging and many are persecuted for doing just that. However, I believe what I believe and am proud to declare so. There are definitely times that are more difficult and those are the times that I lean on God and ask for the right words and His protection. If I don't then I am no better than Saul and would deserve the same punishment.
The good news, though, is that with TRUE repentance, I am forgiven when I am stupid. This means more than simply saying 'I'm sorry'. True repentance is a HEARTFELT recognition of guilt followed by a burning desire to be turned away from sin and do all that is right. There are many times that my life is a broken mess and i reach a level of despair thinking that not even God would want me. HOWEVER, God will not turn away. I just need to remember to take my broken pieces to Jesus and ask for His help to repair. HE is the one and only true healer and fixer of broken relationships; even those with HIM. Such great news!!
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